A comparison of marriage is a private affair and love must not be forgotten about love and culture

Ashley Kannan Certified Educator The most evident similarity is that both are related to one another.

A comparison of marriage is a private affair and love must not be forgotten about love and culture


The first is that the context of this article is sub-Sahara Africa. Within that context, I use "traditional" in the sense of what was customary up to the time of independence, i.

There are two further important points to be borne in mind: I think it can help clarity of exposition if we approach our subject from three angles.

In the first place we can compare African traditions and attitudes with Christian teaching on marriage and the family, and more concretely with the natural law values that it is part of the Church's mission to preserve and hand on.

In the second place we can contrast these African attitudes with the sexual or marital and family "mores" that prevail in the western world. Finally we can devote some consideration to factors that are currently undermining the stability of the African family.

What I hope will emerge from our study is the fact that the natural law - the law designed to keep man's conduct human - is more deeply rooted and reflected in many traditional African societies than in the western world: Augustine - the bonum prolis or offspring, the bonum fidei or unity, and the bonum sacramenti or indissolubility - we can immediately state that the first - the sense of children as a good: It is in this light that one should consider the phenomenon of polygamy which is of course the main point where traditional African marriage has most frequently departed from the norm of the natural law.

This can be seen, for instance, in the fact that the taking of a second wife is so often the simple consequence of the barrenness of the first. Polygamy not only violates the divine design that marriage should be a communion of life between just one man and one woman who then become two in one flesh Gen.

Although polygamy still has its defenders, the majority of Africans readily understand that the Christian and natural norm of monogamous marriage is essential for upholding the dignity of woman. Given the rapid cultural changes operating in Africa, it seems likely that, within a decade or two, polygamy as a pastoral problem will be replaced by western style divorce and remarriage.

In traditional African society, men guarded the home and the cattle, or went to war. The women worked, caring for the house, the crops, the children.

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So used were the women to work that a polygamous situation would at times be provoked by the first wife's asking her husband to take a second wife who could be a help to her in her work. It could be remarked in passing that the tradition of women being much more industrious than men has accelerated the current process of equalization between the sexes, since the African woman in the modern working situation will generally outdo the man.

Just as polygamy has been fairly frequent in traditional African society, divorce has been extremely rare. An important point of difference between polygamy and divorce is not to be overlooked. In polygamy the first wife is not rejected or put away; the marriage bond is not considered broken.

The message of Chinua Achebe's short story "Marriage is a Private Affair" is that, despite cultural and generational prejudices, family love is an essential part of life. Nnaemeka's father, an Ibo. In "Marriage is a Private Affair" by Chinua Achebe and "Love Must Not Be Forgotten" by Zhang Jie, they explore the problems of individuals seeking love and fulfillment in a changing culture. In both stories, the main character is confronted with the problem of having man. In the stories Love Must Not be Forgotten by Zhang Jie and Marriage is a Private Affair by Chinua Achebe the main characters Nnaemeka and Zhang both face one of these cultural decisions. Both Nnaemeka and Zhang decide to go against what was culturally acceptable and choose their own happiness over tradition.

What is violated is unity, but not indissolubility. One might say that, in African tradition, the indissolubility of marriage is conditioned to its fruitfulness. Practically speaking, the birth of a child marked the "consummation" of the marriage.

Once a child has been born the marriage is indissoluble. As one African put it to me, "Children became a real external sign of this indissoluble unity.


And if he choose to consider his marriage null and send her back to her family, society - and the woman herself - would agree. The matrimonial jurisprudence of the Church's tribunals, in line with the natural law, has never accepted sterility as grounds for invalidating a marriage.

This African tradition, then, is unacceptable from a Christian standpoint. Yet it is interesting to note it as a sign of something which we will examine in the second part of our study: All of this undoubtedly implies a "test" approach to marriage.In "Marriage Is a Private Affair," who is the most dynamic character?

C. Okeke In "Marriage Is a Private Affair," Nene does not know that Okeke has already found a wife for Nnaemeka.

A comparison of marriage is a private affair and love must not be forgotten about love and culture

Yet many educated Africans remain sensitive to the possibility that a new emphasis on personal values in marriage - mutual love, personal choice, a desire for self-fulfillment, etc. - is not necessarily in contrast with social values nor should it lead to their exclusion.

Literature: Marriage is a private affair

Perhaps this comparison is especially appropriate because sex was for the most part ignored in public discourse historically, and even now there is a stigma to having sex in certain contexts (for example outside of marriage or with various partners that don’t fit the normative expectations of sexual partners).

In the two stories “Marriage is a Private Affair” and “Love Must Not Be Forgotten,” the main characters face challenges’ involving their arranged marriages. In “Marriage is a Private Affair.

Human Sexuality Final. STUDY. In Freudian terms, a married man who does not have an extramarital affair because he believes it is immoral might be said to have a strong: B.

sexuality must not be separated from its social consequences, as seen in the ancient story of Adam and Eve. A comparison of Marriage Practices Between American and Indian Culture Words | 4 Pages. Marriage practices vary across cultures. Every culture has its own way of conducting marriage according to their traditions and customs.

Most cultures share common customs and practices, while some cultures have unique practices.

MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY IN AFRICA: Position Papers, April | kaja-net.com